Reader Question – ‘How Do I Get Her Wet?’

How do I get her wet?

If you’re wondering this, you’re not alone! Over a billion Google search results!

 Steve, 44yo; married 15 years


My wife doesn’t get “wet” like she used to. Sometimes not at all! This is something new that’s gradually getting worse.


In the past, doing a little oral on “dry” evenings did the trick, but now that’s not even working.


Could her age have something to do with it? She’s getting close to 40.


Or I dunno. Maybe I’m not turning her on, anymore.

How do I get her wet?

Help Her Find that Elusive O

Do you associate your wife’s arousal level with how wet she is?

Do you assume if she’s wet, it means she’s turned on, and if she’s dry, it means she’s not aroused.

Common assumptions … but not necessarily accurate!

Sahara Syndrome – Why She’s Not Getting Wet

A woman’s lubrication level depends on a lot of different factors, many of them having absolutely nothing to do with whether or not she’s turned on.

  1. Alcohol can relax her, sure, but it can also decrease sensation and dry her out, so have her limit her intake before sex.
  1. Menstruation can cause dryness because it alters hormonal levels.
  1. Childbirth & Nursing also alters hormones and often causes dryness.
  1. Menopause can cause dryness for the same hormonal reasons.
  1. Meds Certain meds like antihistamines and anti-depressants decrease lubrication.

Delay Between Arousal and Lubrication

How do I get her wet?

A man’s arousal is usually instantaneous. He gets aroused and his equipment magically springs into action.

It’s not always that quick for a woman, though.

How do I get her wet?

Getting wet isn’t always immediate

There’s usually a delay … 5 … 10 … even 15 minutes between when your wife first starts feeling aroused and when you can really feel her increased wetness.

This doesn’t mean she’s not excited. Women can actually reach orgasm without lubricating, and sometimes they don’t get very wet until after orgasm.

There’s also a lot of variation between women and how fast and how much they lubricate.

So, don’t feel like a failure if your wife isn’t immediately wet after you start foreplay.

Give her body time to respond.

Hold off on penetration, even with your fingers, for 10-15 minutes after you start foreplay. See if it helps with wetness. 

Orgasms are Easier with Lube

How Do I Get Her Wet?

Here’s the good news, though.

Women feel more aroused when you use lube.

Not only that, applying lube actually makes it easier for a woman to have an orgasm.

Over 70% of women find that using lube makes sex better and more pleasurable.

Nearly half say that using lube makes it easier to have an orgasm.

Pour It On

So, pour it on, baby.

Don’t be shy, especially if you’re doing a lot of clitoral stimulation. After a while, those manly hands of yours can start feeling like sandpaper on her delicate parts.

And the Winner Is …

Silicone Lube 

How do I get her wet?

Using lube makes her orgasms come more easily

There are a lot of lubes out there …

Water-based, natural oils, scented lubes, warming lubes …

The very best lube of all time, though, is silicone lube.

Here’s why: 

  1. Silicone lube is made from the natural element, silicon, and atoms of oxygen.

  2. It has a unique feel, silky and slippery.

  3. Since it doesn’t get absorbed into the skin, it lasts forever! You don’t have to re-apply nearly as often as water-based lubes.

  4. Silicone is hypoallergenic, and a good choice for people with sensitive skin or who struggle with allergies.

  5. Silicone lubes are latex safe, but you shouldn’t use them with silicone toys because they can break down the material over time.

  6. Silicone lubes are less likely to cause or worsen yeast infections.

  7. Unlike water-based lubes, silicone lubes have better staying power in water, so they’re the best choice for water-play.

Caveat: Silicone lubes can sometimes stain delicate sheets, so be aware of that.

Want more info on lubes? Great link here. 

Erotic Pro-Tip

How do I get her wet?

Instead of simply putting the lube on your hand and rubbing it on her body, try holding the bottle high over her body and letting it trickle down onto her skin.

This is an amazingly erotic feel. You can do it while she’s lying on her tummy or on her back. The oil will spread out and penetrate all those nooks and crannies.

Or use it as a massage oil – super silky and erotic!