“The only way my wife will have sex is missionary. I really want to do doggie with her, but she won’t hear of it.
I’ve tried just putting her in position, but she always squirms away.”
Women hate having sex in doggie position because they’re self-conscious about showing their tummy fat, particularly if they’ve given birth and have stretch marks or loose skin.
To get around this, simply put two or three pillows down under her stomach. Et voila! Tummy fat disappears.
Works like a charm. : )
You can also dim the lights/use candles or put a blindfold on her if she’s agreeable. You want to get her out of her own head so she can forget about what she looks like and get into the moment.
Experiment with the number of pillows to change the angle of penetration and increase stimulation.
Doggie is a great position because it lets you add clitoral stimulation, with either you or her stimulating her clitoris with fingers or a vibe.
Play around and change it up and see what works best.
Who knows? It just may become one of her favorite positions.
Hi, I’m Rebecca Watson. Author, Researcher, and Marriage & Attraction Consultant.
Doggie, well first Rebecca, you do hit with a lot of good advice here. But to this reader, there is no Viola from pillows or other. Soooooo many spouses are just done with sex (with spouse that is). She as many just won’t have fun with it anymore, post kids, menopause, and 1000 other reasons. Many of us still try to woo, are fit, clean, useful….but just expected to pine away. We have to figure out when or if we will just move on. You like sex. I like it. Thed readers here all do. But we are seemingly the only ones trying to make the marriage excellent.
@Chris —
You know from this post that there are 3 love systems. When your partner doesn’t want sex, the trick is to figure out where the blokage is; is it in the Attraction, Relationship Comfort, or General Hormones love system. Usually it’s a combination of two or three of the love systems.
If your wife has gone through menopause, then it’s a given that her hormones are affected, and you need to address that. My guess is there’s also a blokage in the Attraction system. Take a look and see if any of this rings a bell.
Rebecca
Thanks a lot for some great tips. However, with my wife the problem is not that she is insecure about her body (despite me always telling her how beautiful she looks), but that she thinks doggy style is degrading towards women. She told me that sex is supposed to be about intimacy and that we have to have eye contact during sex or it defeats the whole point of sex. Whenever we have sex we only use the missionary position and she always insists that I look at her the entire time. I really do not know what to do.
@Erik —
First thing to do is to start increasing attraction. Funny how those nasty, ‘degrading’ acts turn her on once she’s wildly attracted.
Take a look at the ‘Attracting Your Wife’ category for specifics.
Rebecca