“My wife doesn’t get “wet” like she used to. Sometimes not at all! This is something new that’s gradually getting worse.
In the past, doing a little oral on “dry” evenings did the trick, but now that’s not even working. Could her age have something to do with it? She’s getting close to 40. Or I dunno. Maybe I’m not turning her on, anymore.”
If you’re like a lot of guys, you associate your wife’s arousal level with how wet she is. You assume if she’s wet, it means she’s turned on, and if she’s dry, it means she’s not aroused.
This is actually not the case, though.
Sahara Syndrome – Factors that Dry Her Out
A woman’s lubrication level depends on multiple factors, many of them having absolutely nothing to do with arousal levels.
Alcohol can decrease her sensations and lead to a dry vagina, so have her limit her intake to only a glass or two before sex.
Menstruation can cause dryness because it alters hormonal levels.
Childbirth/Nursing also alters hormones and often causes dryness.
Menopause can cause dryness for the same hormonal reasons.
Certain over-the-counter and prescription meds like anti-histamines and anti-depressants decrease lubrication.
Delay Between Arousal and Lubrication
A man’s arousal is normally pretty instantaneous. He becomes aroused and his penis magically springs into action. It’s not always that quick for a woman, though. There is often a 5, 10, even 15 minute delay between when your wife first starts feeling aroused and when you can really feel her increased wetness.
This doesn’t mean she’s not physically/mentally/emotionally excited. Women can actually reach orgasm without lubricating, and sometimes they don’t become very wet until after orgasm.
There’s also a lot of variation between women and how fast and how much they lubricate.
So, don’t feel like a failure if your wife isn’t immediately wet after you start foreplay. Give her body time to respond.
Orgasms are Easier with Lube
Here’s the good news, though. Women feel more aroused when you use lube. Not only that, applying lube actually makes it easier for a woman to have an orgasm.
Over 70% of women state that using an external lubricant during sex made the encounters more comfortable and pleasurable, and nearly half agree that using lube makes it easier to have an orgasm.
Pour It On
So, pour it on, baby. Don’t be shy, especially if you’re doing a lot of clitoral stimulation. After a while, those manly hands of yours can start feeling like sandpaper on her delicate parts.
And the Winner Is …
There are a lot of good lubes out there … water-based, natural ones like coconut oil or almond oil, scented lubes, and warming lubes. The very best lube of all time, though, is silicone lube.
- Silicone lube is made from the natural element, silicon, and atoms of oxygen. It has a unique feel, very silky and slippery. And since it doesn’t get absorbed into the skin, it lasts forever! There’s much less need for re-applying compared to water-based lubes.
- Silicone is hypoallergenic, and a good choice for people with sensitive skin or who struggle with allergies. Silicone lubes are latex safe, but you shouldn’t use them with silicone toys because they can break down the rubber over time.
- Silicone lubes are less likely to cause or worsen yeast infections.
- Unlike water-based lubes, silicone lubes have better staying power in water, so they’re the best choice for water-play.
Caveat: Silicone lubes can sometimes stain sheets, though, so be aware of that.
Instead of simply putting the lube on your hand and rubbing it on her body, try holding the bottle high over her body and letting it trickle down onto her skin. This is an amazingly erotic feel. You can do it while she’s lying on her tummy or on her back. The oil will spread out and penetrate all those nooks and crannies.