Setting Boundaries Makes You More Attractive to Her

Setting Boundaries Makes You More Attractive to Her

Women are intensely attracted to high-status men. That’s no secret.

Here’s the surprising part, though …

It’s your daily interactions with your wife (and kids) that determine your status in her eyes.

Hierarchy Scale Explained

setting boundaries makes you more attractive to her

What Determines a Man’s Status?

This surprises a lot of guys, but a man’s place on the hierarchy scale doesn’t actually have all that much to do with his looks.

Instead, it has to do with his personal energy …

setting boundaries makes you more attractive to her

Status is about a man’s willingness to put a high value on himself. And his ability to set strong boundaries, especially with his wife!

You can even be kind of homely, but if you rank high in all those other areas, she becomes immensely attracted to you.

This is the heart of it, the part that no one talks about. But it’s the very nature of female attraction.

Take Tim, for example …


Attraction Lies in the Daily Micro-Interactions

Setting Boundaries Makes You More Attractive to Her

Attraction lies in the thousands of micro-interactions two people have every day.

The real reason she’s not attracted is because of those daily micro-interactions.

You communicate your place on the hierarchy ladder with every look, vocal intonation, gesture, body position, and action you make.

Somewhere along the road, you started communicating that you were a lower-value partner than she is.

You did this when you started orbiting her like she’s the earth and you’re the moon.

You did this when you gave up all your friends and activities to ‘spend time with the family’.

You did it when she trampled all over a boundary that first time and instead of confronting her, you shoved all your anger and resentment down.

Most likely because you wanted sex that night.

(Or, possibly, depending on your childhood, because you hate conflict.)

Either way, it was lethal.

The decline of attraction had begun.

And every passive interaction after that where you inadvertently displayed low value simply eroded attraction even further.

So, how to turn it around at this late date?

Is it even possible?

Yes! It’s definitely possible!

Attraction really is infinitely malleable.

Perceived Rank vs. Actual Rank

Here’s what you need to know.

Actual rank on the hierarchy scale doesn’t mean much.

Perceived rank, on the other hand, means everything!

Setting Boundaries Makes You More Attractive to Her

You look at yourself and you think …

“I’m fairly attractive, not crazy obese, I work out once in a while, get some runs in here and there.

I’m smart, I make good money, I’m a good provider. I pull my weight around the house.

What’s not to like? I’m at least a 7.”

Here’s the deal, though. You don’t act like a 7.

In your daily interactions, you treat her like she’s a 9, and you’re a 5.

setting boundaries makes you more attractive to her

Analyze Your Interactions

You pride yourself that you ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’, but honestly, you’re giving ground on almost everything!

These are not the actions of a man who realizes his own high value.

And no way you would have done this with her when you first met her.

Can you see how far you’ve fallen?

Your actions have cemented in her mind that she’s the higher value partner. Her lack of interest follows this belief.

Even if you’re a perfect 10, when you act like a 5, in her eyes, you become a 5.

You’re both swallowed up by a self-reinforcing false paradigm. You have to break that cycle!

Setting Boundaries Makes You More Attractive to Her

Start Displaying High Value

So, what to do?

Because this is a battle of the mind, you have to win the battle in your own mind first!

You do this not with mental pep talks (you can’t fix the mind with the mind), but instead by taking action.

Taking the right actions is the only way to change neural pathways.

Step 1 – Recognize Your Own Value

The 1st thing to do is simply recognize what’s going on. Understand the value you bring to the table.

Because honestly, she doesn’t know it, but your wife couldn’t replace you at this point. Not with a man of similar value as you.

But she’s not going to truly recognize that until you internalize it yourself.

Realize that if you were actually dating again, you might not even ask your wife out for a first date, much less a second. You need to take off those husband goggles and see reality for what it is.

Then, become that high-value man who’s with his wife not because he has to be – because he has no better options – but rather because he wants to be with her.

That’s the game-changer right there.

Step 2 – Go Do Your Own Thing

It’s counter-intuitive, but …

If you want her to be into you again, you have to be less into her. 

For her to take you seriously, she has to understand you have other options.

You need to make your world bigger.

Start going out once a week.

Find some buddies, join a meet-up group, go listen to some live music, go by yourself if you have to, whatever it is, go do it.

And no, your wife isn’t going to be happy. I get it.

But really, what does it matter if she’s not happy? You’re not currently happy with the status quo.

And the only way to change the status quo is to change your life.

Step 3 – Join a Gym

Join a gym.

No, seriously! Join a gym!

Working out at home doesn’t cut it. It’s not going to give you what you need.

And I know, she’s going to fuss about you taking that time for yourself ‘away from the family’.

But again, so what?

What’s she going to do? Cut off sex?

Already happened. Honestly, you don’t have much to lose!

You need to build muscles because women are wildly attracted to muscles.

But more importantly, being muscular and able to physically defend yourself gives you more confidence than any single other thing you can do.  

(Other than maybe owning your own personal airplane. Even then, it’s a toss-up!)

Step  4– Start Setting Boundaries with Your Wife

No more being a ‘go-with-the-flow- guy.

That’s the exact opposite of what attracts a woman! The reason that setting boundaries makes you more attractive to her is that it creates respect. And respect gives rise to attraction.

It’s counter-intuitive, but she NEEDS you to be firm with her.

You see yourself as simply being ‘easy-going’; she sees it as you displaying low value!

This is the crazy part of female attraction & sexual desire.⁣

The less easy-going you are …

The less you give in to her because it’s easier not to argue …

The less you let her call all the shots …

The more she respects you.

The stronger your boundaries, the higher her respect.

And high respect leads to female attraction.

Strong Boundaries ➜ Respect ➜ Attraction ➜ Sexual Desire

But remember Tim? How did it all turn out for him?



setting boundaries makes you more attractive to her

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