Does having mostly female teachers change the way your son views himself?
Not really smack her. Or, at least, not much. Lover, not fighter, and all that.
But I did get a bit hot under the collar when my 14-year old son came home with this story.
His science teacher, Mrs. W. is a staunch feminist. Which is fine. I’m all about empowering women.
Unless it’s on the backs of men. Or, in this case, 14-year old boys.
Are Girls More Creative and Hard-Working?
Situation is a group project, Jake’s assigned group consists of him and three girls. Their mission is to build a cardboard house and design the electrical lay-out for it. Great project. I love when they do hands-on stuff.
When the group is finished, Mrs. W., pleased with their results, remarks to Jake, “See, in high school, remember to work with girls because they’re creative and they get their work done.”
Um. Generalize much? I mean, really? Really? You’re going to pull that kind of sexist crap with my kid.
Can you imagine if this were the reverse? A guy teacher telling a girl how much better boys are at projects. Yeah, not so much.
Look, I’m not a helicopter parent. After five kids, you learn to let the little stuff go. In the big scheme of life, this is nothing. Jake doesn’t lack confidence, and he has a strong sense of who he is, his strengths and weaknesses.
Is It Okay to Experiment with Kids?
But on a larger scale, I do wonder about how we’re raising our boys. We’ve actually engaged in an unprecedented social experiment where for the first time, boys are being trained mostly by women instead of by men, as has been traditionally done.
Think about it.
In the distant past, in tribal societies, boys were sent off with the men when they hit nine or ten-years old, sometimes younger. They learned traditionally male skills from men, and their masculinity was encouraged and molded. In the more recent past, education for boys was achieved through apprenticeships and learning from male role models.
It’s only since about the 1800’s that public schools were established. And toward the mid-1800’s that the balance shifted from the majority of teachers being male to most teachers being female.
It’s not like sexism in education is a new thing. I had two teachers, Mrs. P. and Mr. H., who were widely known for preferring boys. Boys could do no wrong in Mrs. P’s eyes, and Mr. H. spent a lot of time telling girls about the jobs they couldn’t do. One of my older sons had a teacher who absolutely despised boys. My guess is we all have a story like that.
Are Men Better Off Being Trained Exclusively by Women?
However, what I’m talking about is a bit different. We now have a whole system where one gender is taught almost exclusively by the opposite gender. I can’t think this social experiment is a good thing. How do men learn to be men when they’re taught almost exclusively by women?
My kid’s okay. He’s got three brothers, and a dad who spends a lot of time with him. There’s no shortage of testosterone in his life.
But not all, and probably not even most, boys have that kind of support system.
How does this type of comment affect them? How does it change and mold their masculinity? How does it make them view themselves?
It will take time to get all those answers.
In the meantime, though … Mrs. W., please keep your crappy social agenda out of my kid’s classroom. There’s simply no place for it there.
Hi, I’m Rebecca Watson. Author, Researcher, and Marriage & Attraction Consultant.
I think the comment is inappropriate, but I’m not sure that represents all female teachers.
For junior high and high school my children had probably an equal number of male teachers compared to female teachers.
I think it is important to do what we can to get men into education.
People say boys are struggling today more in education. I believe it is a combination a many factors:
1) Boys are encouraged to put more time and energy into athletic pursuits
2)Boys are more distracted by video games
3)Many changes in school culture hurt boys more than girls…such as decreasing the amount of time for recess. Ironically decisions like decreasing time for recess are often made by male superintendents.
4)I do believe there are times where teachers can be clueless about what might interest boys in the classroom, but my son had some teachers that were sure to stock titles that might be more interesting to boys in their classroom.
I don’t think a kid receiving math or music instruction from a man is the same as those teachers training the kid to be a man.
I do believe kids can receive all sorts of different messages whether they are verbalized aloud or not. For instance even though we live in an area where academics are very important, most would agree that those who get the most name recognition are those who participate in boy’s sports, namely football and basketball.
@Kate —
You’re right. Mrs. W. doesn’t represent all female teachers. We’ve had plenty of good ones.
I think there’s a bigger picture, though. Depending on the state, kids spend almost 7 hours in school per day, and roughly 75% of their teachers are female. This means our boys are spending almost half of their waking hours in the company of the opposite gender.
Is this a problem? I’m not sure, but I think it probably is. I guess time will tell.
Rebecca
I’d say we’re well beyond the tipping point where schools actually teach kids the tools to think critically. My boys have been in a multitude of schools (due to military moves) and the themes tend to be the same. Schools are now an indoctrination machine. Most teaching styles are specifically geared towards females. Few schools offer shop class, etc as a means of helping boys learn. STEM programs focus on girls, not helping boys. It’s left to the parents to teach boys. It gets worse when you look at college in this college. Boys are already convicted rapists (mandatory consent classes?!). I don’t want my boys attending a brick and mortar unless they’re getting a hard science degree, engineering, etc.
My boys get angry because all the books they get to read in English are girl related/focused, not the classics, again no critical thinking.
Kids sent home, suspended, expelled for making a “gun” from a Poptart? We now have a couple of generations of Low T pacifists. Who will fight for you?
I believe time is already here and is telling us.
@Sapper —
I don’t know that schools are serving either boys or girls all that well.
And yes, taking on college debt for a degree that won’t land you a job is foolish. Parents need to sit down with their kids and take a look at ROI for any degree prior to spending a single dime. Sadly, most families don’t do this and the kids end up paying the cost in high student debt that financially handicaps them for years, if not decades.
Rebecca