It’s an embarrassing word, isn’t it? I mean, it’s okay for hoses to squirt. Or maybe oranges. It’s definitely okay for squirt guns to squirt. After all, squirt guns are expressly made to … well … squirt.
But for a woman to squirt? That feels a little … unseemly, doesn’t it? Just not quite … ladylike.
If you don’t know what it is, squirting … also called gushing, female ejaculation, and G-spot orgasm … is ‘the involuntary emission of fluid during female orgasm’. Sounds pretty harmless, right?
Then why do so many of us have such a huge problem with the idea?
I don’t know when squirting became such a thing. My guess is that women have been doing it since the beginning of time. Eve back in the garden probably squirted. And no one said much about it.
There are some references to squirting dating back to 4th century China, and multiple references in scientific literature from the 16th to 19th centuries.
Squirting didn’t go mainstream, though, until it started being a big deal in porn. Every porn star and her sister squirts, and it’s one of the most frequently searched porn terms. Maybe that’s why it’s such an uncomfortable idea for many of us … because we associate squirting with being a bad girl.
I was talking with a woman recently, and she was mortified to admit that she sometimes squirts during sex , and wanted to know if I thought something was wrong with her. She thought that maybe she needed to do even more kegels than she was already doing. Maybe she needed to avoid certain positions. Maybe she needed to talk to her gynecologist.
“Maybe you just need to relax,” I told her bluntly.
“Look, does squirting feel good?” I asked.
She assured me it did. In fact, it was quite euphoric.
“Is it against any of your moral or faith beliefs? Anything against squirting in any of your religious doctrine?”
Well, no, not really.
“Is it hurting anyone? Have any small animals been harmed in the process of squirting?”
No, she was forced to admit while giggling.
“Is your husband against it? Does it gross him out?”
She wasn’t sure. They had never discussed it. She was kind of embarrassed to bring it up.
“Then what’s the problem? Why is this even a thing?”
Well, it did make the bed kind of wet. And … <she whispered this part> … she was really afraid that it was just … pee.
Okay, now we had come to the heart of it.
That’s the real hang-up we all have about squirting. We’re all afraid that in reality we’re just peeing the bed. And eew … how gross is that?
Well, here’s the deal. The data is mixed about exactly what it is we’re emitting when we squirt. Some studies show that it’s not urine; some studies show that it is. My guess is that squirting probably does involve some urine … at least in some women some of the time.
But really, so what? Urine, while not completely sterile, has less bacteria than saliva. And it’s not the end of the world when one of you drools a little on your sheets, right? I mean, oral sex would be pretty tough to do if had to be completely drool-less.
Look, the best sex is messy. You can’t keep everything perfectly pristine and have a good time. You just … can’t.
One thing that can help is to zip over to the bathroom mid-session and empty your bladder before trying to squirt. It will reassure your mind and keep the amount of fluid manageable. And then you can relax and let your body do what it does best.
Men tend to be absolutely fascinated by female squirting. If you want your husband to feel like a Super Hero, let him help you squirt. He will feel 10 feet tall. And like he’s won the Sexy Wife lottery. Some studies tells us that only about 40% of women can squirt (although who knows how many women are even interested in trying), so if you’re one of them, pat yourself on the back, throw a couple of towels on the bed, and enjoy.
As long as you and your husband are enjoying what you’re doing, and you’re not hurting anyone, it’s all good.
So, go ahead and squirt to your heart’s content. And your husband’s. You don’t have to give up your Nice Girl card just because you squirt. Really!
If you want to read more, Julie Sibert over at Intimacy in Marriage has a great post about her own experiences with female squirting. I really like her straight-forward and transparent approach to sexuality.
Killing the Nice Girl series:
- Why Nice Girls Don’t Get the Sex They Want
- 5 Ways a Blindfold Helps Your Wife Let Go of Her ‘Good Girl’
- The Caveman Within. She Said