So your wife is giving you a hard time about testosterone therapy because she’s afraid.
She’s afraid it will turn you into a raging maniac …
She’s afraid of the health implications of testosterone therapy …
And she’s afraid you’re going to want more sex than she can give.
Is there any basis to her fears and how should you handle them?
The first thing you need to do is to separate fact from fiction.
Fiction: Testosterone therapy will turn you into a raging maniac.
Fact: Testosterone is the feel-good hormone, and when your levels are low, you feel moody, irritable, and depressed. However, men who dose at supra-physiological levels can become volatile, so there’s at least some basis for your wife’s fear.
In addition, if you don’t monitor your estrogen levels, they can get too high, making you moody and emotional. As one guy said, “I knew I needed to check my estrogen levels when I started crying during the last scene of Monsters, Inc., when John Goodman says good-bye to Boo.”
Fiction: Testosterone therapy gives you energy and muscles in the short run, but destroys your health in the long run.
Fact: There’s absolutely no basis to this. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. Men with low testosterone are 200% more likely to have cardiovascular problems, four times as likely to have diabetes, depression, and osteoporosis, and are at significantly higher risk for Alzheimer’s disease and prostate cancer.
Testosterone has a tremendous impact on a man’s health. In fact, you can tell your wife that if you don’t take care of your testosterone levels, you probably need to increase your life insurance since guys with low testosterone levels are likely to die sooner than men whose levels are optimal. That will give her something to think about!
Fiction Fact: Testosterone therapy will make you want more sex.
Actually, this one is true. T therapy typically increases your sex drive. However, it also gives you the strength and confidence to do the things that will increase attraction in your marriage so that your wife wants to have sex with you. The truth is that women are attracted to high T guys. Testosterone fuels confidence, decisiveness, muscles, and leadership, all qualities that attract women.
Testosterone also provides energy, and it takes a lot of energy to build attraction in a marriage. That’s why it exists in so few marriages. Attraction doesn’t create itself, and most people have no idea what builds attraction, nor do they have the energy to do it. So while T therapy will increase your desire for sex, it’s also going to help you do the things that will increase your wife’s desire for sex, as well.
But don’t tell her all that just yet. It’s one of those things that’s a show, not a tell.
What can you tell her at this point?
Lay out the facts before her. Let her know that you plan on doing this responsibly and under the care of an experienced doctor. Let her know that you want to live long and healthy and enjoy a great marriage with her. In order to do that, you need to take care of yourself.
In the end you simply need to convey that you’re doing this for you. For your health. For your quality of life. And that while you’d like her support, you don’t need it.
And you need to understand that yes, this is going to make her angry. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter because you need to do what’s right for you, no matter what your wife thinks.
Which is the first step in becoming the man who attracts her.